What I really struggle with is that, in the time we do spend together, I don't feel like he is particularly emotionally available.
I know all the rational stuff about how you can't just come up with a timeline for getting married, etc, but I know that this is a factor that is probably complicating this relationship that I need to figure out how to fix on my end. I am examining all this with a therapist. What makes you happy? I later found out I was not the only person he was in a relationship with. I had to call him once a week or so and beg him to let me buy him dinner just so I could see him. Another way of looking at it that helps give perspective — and will do so for you too — is that being passionate about your work and seeing it as something you want to achieve in life, is the same thing as being emotionally invested in relationships and seeing a relationship and family as something you want to achieve in life. Frankly, I don't think you're the issue here.